chasing my own tail or chasing dreams?

just hit one of those mega reflective moods. my life’s recently kind of has been like a mashup of writing code, reading and trying to nail a messi style goal: ambitious, right? juggling a zillion interests here, feeling a bit like aaron in overdrive, minus the legendary status. this hustle culture’s got me feeling like i’m stuck in an endless game. we’re all running around, trying to score in life but often forgetting to enjoy the game itself. remember the last time i just sat back, relaxed and didn’t worry about strategizing my next move? so yeah, it feels like i am in this high-speed chase, looking for the next big thing but not really savoring the journey. how does messi stay cool with all that pressure, man? i don’t really know.

everyone seems to be scoring life goals left, right and center. and here i am, still trying to figure out my own beat. i’m aiming for that passion and focus in life, but also want to make sure i’m enjoying the moments in between. my interests keep switching up faster than anything. these days, i’ve been too inspired by swartz’s legacy, dabbling in a bit of code, design and losing myself in books. but trying to fit all of this into a 24-hour day is ??? where’s the halftime, yaar?

but here’s a thought – maybe it’s totally fine to be average at some things. just doing them because it feels right. life’s not about nailing everything. it’s cool to be bad at stuff, like this blog i’m writing. it’s not a masterpiece but it’s out there. i’ve realized being glued to work makes you miss out on, well, life. i don’t wanna be chained to just one thing – i need my variety.

swartz never just stuck to one thing and messi isn’t just about football. they both explored and excelled in diverse fields. that’s the kind of variety i’m chasing after. i’ve set myself some pretty high bars, hoping to make a mark like them but not hitting that target every time? yeah that stings a bit. so here i am navigating through my ambitions, trying to make sense of it all. it’s exciting, unpredictable and always a learning curve. here’s to finding my way in this chaotic yet thrilling journey.